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Time To Be The Change

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Well, here we are.  It has been a week since the election. It’s been a week since many of us feel that life as we know it has changed.  I think at this point the shock is starting to wear off.  I think the anger is starting to give way to thoughtfulness and ideas on how to make changes in our country.  But we still have a long road.

I won’t lie.  When I found out that he had won the next morning, I cried.  I cried for myself and other women who may have their reproductive rights  put in jeopardy.

I cried for my girls because I am afraid that men who look up to him will now feel they have a free pass to touch any female they want.

I cried for those he feels should be forced out of the country that for many is the only home they have ever known.  And for those he feels should be banned from ever setting foot here.

I cried for those who are atheist/agnostic who may now have religion forced on them in places where they should feel safe.

I cried for those who have been victims of or have lost loved ones to gun violence because there is no way that the people in the pockets of the NRA will bring forth any change to gun laws.

I cried for the LGBT community who fear that their rights may be taken away.

I cried for our country because it feels like we have been set back at least 50 years, if not more.

But I’m not crying anymore.  I’m angry at the choices he has made already and the backlash the election has caused. Now it’s time to take action.  And it can even be something little…paying it forward in a drive-thru.  Or letting someone who may be targeted know you are on their side.  Or making a donation to Planned Parenthood. Or reminding your girls that they can shatter the glass ceiling and that no male ever has a right to lay a hand on them if they do not want them to.   And in the longer run, VOTE.  Vote in every election. Change who our politicians are.  If you’re so inclined, run for office. Every little bit HELPS.

Although the  origin of this quote is disputed, I feel it’s extremely appropriate.  “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” And there is no time like now.

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I’m With Her

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I know I haven’t blogged in a while I have had this post typed up and ready to post on FB today for quite some time now.  So, I thought it was an appropriate way to get back to my blog.

Even though today is Election Day, I already voted early via mail.  I voted for Hillary because to me, she was always the clear cut choice for me.

I’m with her because my parents raised me not to discriminate.  They welcomed ALL of our friends into their home regardless of race, religion or ethnicity.  My mom taught immigrants from all over the world.  She taught them English and helped them get their GED. What Trump has said about minorities and Immigrants is just horrible.  That is not what this country is about nor what it was founded on.

I’m with her because growing up my cousins worked with special needs kids and adults.  It was not unusual for them to be invited to my Nana’s on Sunday for a cookout.  They are people like you and me and deserve to be treated as such. How Trump mocked that disabled reported is DISGUSTING.

I’m with her because I have friends who are gay and bisexual and I have friends whose children are transgender.  Hillary is a true ally.  The same cannot be said for Trump or many Republican candidates.  Because of them, the LGBTQ community still lives in fear.

I’m with her because my family is atheist/agnostic.  This country was founded on religious freedom and the separation of church and state. My daughter should be able to leave the “Under God” out of the Pledge without being ridiculed or attacked.  She should be able to say she does not believe in God or go to church without being shoved, while on a staircase, by a “friend.”  Republicans are trying to insert religion into government and schools where they do not belong.

I’m with her because I have had 4 miscarriages, one being late enough to require delivery.  Hillary gets it about abortion and women’s reproductive rights.  She gets that our bodies are ours and the decisions should be ours.  Trump and Republicans think they should be able to regulate our bodies and force us to carry a sick or dead child to term or even worse, force us to bury our underdeveloped fetus or fetal tissue.  They care nothing about what that would do to a woman and her family.

I’m with her because I am from CT where Sandy Hook happened and I live in Orlando where Pulse happened.  I support the 2nd Amendment but it needs to be changed and updated.  Trump and the Republicans are firmly in the NRA’s pocket and continue to spread the false idea what Hillary will take their guns and leave them with no good options.  They said the same about Obama.  Guess what?  They all still have their guns.

I could probably go on all day but I will end with the 2 most important reasons I’m with her…L and A.  I want them to grow up knowing they can do and be anything.  I want them to know that they should be valued as a woman and a person and not an object. I want them to know they should be RESPECTED.  Donald Trump has gone on the record saying he cannot say he respects women.  He thinks it’s OK to touch, kiss and grab women without their permission.  I hope my daughters never encounter that but I will provide them with what to do if they are faced with it.  I am with her for their future and a future with her as our leader is the only one that makes sense to me.  #Imwithher

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Back After A LONG Break

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Wow, it’s been almost 2 years since I have blogged here.  I never meant to take that long of a break.  And honestly, I miss writing.  The last time I posted, I had been in my new job for a couple of months.  My schedule wasn’t ideal and things were very busy with our client coming on brand new.  I was working quite a bit of overtime and everyone was adjusting to the changes.  So, bear with me while I try to summarize the last 2 years. Casinos has been one the favorite hobbies for many people, but in the last year slot games have been getting more o more famous, and more people spend their free time on this.

Over the course of 2013, things remained busy.  Later that spring I was able to move to a slightly better schedule.  The girls were doing well with Buggy graduating from pre-K and L doing fine on her FCAT tests despite our worries from the school that she may not.  Our county also redistricted that year and the girls were moved to a new school but more on that later.

We took our annual beach vacation that summer and had a blast, as usual and I got the best womens sunglasses for these days.  We stayed in a different condo across the way from our usual one and it was beautiful so that has been where we have stayed since then.

The girls attended summer camp at the school where Buggy had gone to pre-K.  It was there that L had her first major injury…she tripped over a tree root and fell on her wrist, fracturing it.  The school was great about it and their insurance covered pretty much everything.  L was able to get a fiberglass cast so she could swim and the best part was she was able to get the cast off before we took a trip up North.

L turned 9 and we celebrated by going to Disney and taking her out to dinner.  She got a new TV which she was thrilled about.  It wasn’t much fun celebrating in a cast but she was OK with it.

At the end of July, we took a trip to New Hampshire to see my sister and her family.  My mom made the trip up from CT and we had a lot of fun.  The girls loved playing with their cousins and it was a nice way to end the summer.

The girls started at their new school named Providence Classical School, Buggy in kindergarten and L in 4th grade.  The school was VERY different from the old one so it took some getting used to.  There were some issues with L and a couple of others girls that went on for the whole year and made us think about what our next steps regarding school would be.

Work continued to be busy with any calm times being short lived.  B and I were able to get away for a few days in October for our anniversary while my in-laws were down to watch the kids.  We stayed at the beach condo and had a great time.  The weather was awesome and it was nice to spend some time alone together.

The holidays approached and we had a nice relaxing Thanksgiving with just us.  My mom came to visit at the beginning of December. Buggy turned 6 right before Christmas and we took her to Disney and to dinner.  She got her new TV too so she loved that,

For Christmas we made our usual plans of Disney on Christmas Eve and just a nice relaxing day on Christmas Day with good food.  We rang in the New Year with a few friends and had a good time.

2014 has been busy too.  I had wanted to make more time for cooking and blogging but having to stick to a certain work schedule made that hard.  Work continued to be busy so that didn’t help either.  My main focus was to spend free time with B and the kids and that’s what I did.  A new farmers market opened up near us and we started going there every Saturday.  Warm weather was spent outside playing or in the pool.  Some of the other things I wanted to do just naturally went on the back burner.

My in-laws came to visit for Spring Break and we spent a couple nights with them at a hotel near Disney.  The school year came to an end with us still trying to figure out what to do about the school situation.

In early summer, my team at work was told that the part of our account that I work on would be going away in the fall.  We were assured that we would all still have jobs but for me, it was kind of a good thing.  I had already planned to start applying for a promotion in the fall so the timing of this worked out really well.  I was excited to start a new chapter.

Our annual beach vacation was one again a blast.  We added an extra day so that made it even better.  The weather was great and the girls had a blast swimming and playing in the sand.  The girls attended the same summer camp as the previous year.

Linnaea turned 10 and had a little pool party with some of her friends and we still took her out to dinner and to one of the Disney parks.

At the end of June, after speaking with a couple teachers in our county, we put in a request to have the girls transferred back to our original school.  Early in July we learned that it had been approved and it was like a giant weight had been lifted.  L was excited to go back to her old school for her final year of elementary school and Buggy is so laid back, it didn’t really faze her since she knew kids at that school too.  It was one of the best decisions we have ever made.

At the end of July, we took another short trip to favorite hotel near Disney.  It was a nice way to end the summer with great weather, a great pool and a great room with a balcony that allowed us to see EVERY Disney fireworks show.

School started and the girls thrived at the old school.  I began applying for a promotion and had a couple of hiccups before accepting a promotion as a Trainer dedicated to a new client coming on in the New Year.  Given the changes on my old team, I was not officially released to my new job until December 19 but they started paying me long before that so it was all fine with me!  The best part of this new job (besides the new salary) is the flexibility.  I no longer have to be tied to schedule and that is a huge plus for me.

My sister and her family came to visit at the end of October.  They were here for Halloween which was a lot of fun.  The kids always love playing together.  But it would have been better if Buggy hadn’t brought home a stomach bug from school that EVERYONE ended up getting eventually, in one form or another.  But overall, we had a good time.

We spent Thanksgiving with our friends in Fernandina and had a blast.  My mom came to visit in early December and then we took an overnight trip to Disney for Buggy’s birthday.  Crappy weather forced us to change our Christmas Eve plans so we ended up staying home watching movies and eating yummy appetizers.  Christmas Day was nice and relaxing.  We had an awesome dinner of braciole over polenta with bacon braised green beans.  The braciole was in honor of my uncle/godfather who had passed away in the fall.  When I was growing up, he made braciole every Christmas so it was a nice way to honor his memory.

And here we are at the first day of 2015.  We rang in the New Year at our neighbors’ party across the street.  It’s always a great party with good friends and good food.

I am looking forward to 2015.  I have a new, more flexible position that will hopefully let me get back into doing the things I love in my spare time.  My girls continue to grow, change and thrive and B and I continue to be happy and have a great time together.  I have decided to not necessarily make resolutions this year but rather work on making improvements in several aspects of my life.  The end of 2014 brought me quite a few great things and I hope that continues into 2015.  Happy New year, everyone!

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A New Groove

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I know I am way overdue for a blog post and I apologize.  The new job has been busier than I anticipated!  Since the account I was assigned to is brand new, there was a lot of work that went into getting it ready.  I worked lots of overtime the week before last and even then we still went live a day late!  So, I went in early last week too so we could catch up and while it’s going slowly, we are getting there.  But, the good news is I have found my groove and it’s becoming a routine, I even started with a self care grooming from the  groenerekenkamer.com.  Everyone is still getting adjusted but we’ll all get there.  I think some schedules may be in order!

I can’t believe that we nearing the end of the school year.  We got notice of when Buggy’s pre-K graduation will be.  L will be getting ready to take the Florida standardized test called the F-CAT and I’m a bit worried.  One half of it is reading comprehension which she has struggled with so we need to work with her on it.  She said her teacher let her know that if she didn’t do well on the test, there was still another opportunity to prevent her from staying back but we have heard NOTHING from the teacher ourselves so I sent an email to her teacher  to find out exactly what we need to work on.  She reads a TON and honestly, I think some of it is just not knowing how to scan and look for the answers within the stories so I’ll start there.  And then once I hear back from her teacher, I’ll have a better idea of what else we may need to work on.

With the approach of the end of  school year comes the time for registering Buggy for Kindergarten.  But our county is redistricting so I am pretty sure my kids will be going to another school next year.  This upsets me a bit because we love the school L is in now.  She has lots of friends there and I love a lot of the teachers.  All the kids from our neighborhood would be going to the same new school but still, it breaks my heart that she may have to start over at a new school in 4th grade.  It’s not as big of a deal for Buggy since she’ll be starting from scratch but it’s still a bit upsetting.  And I can’t believe my last baby will be starting school full time!  She loves school and I know she’ll do fine but it’s still so bittersweet.

Spring Break is just around the corner and I am so sad I won’t be able to be home for any of it.  B’s parents will be coming to visit so I know the kids will love their time with Grandma and Grandpa but I’d still like to be able to take some time off.  I just keep telling myself that I’ll have a week off in June to go to the beach so I’m trying to look forward to that.

We’re also looking into what to do with the kids this summer since we’ll both be working.  Buggy’s school had a summer long camp so we may just send them there. There’s also a science/environmental camp through the county that Linnaea wants to go to so maybe she can do that for a week.  No matter what they do I’m sure they’ll have fun!

Last night B and I went out on a double date with some friends who have kids the same age as ours (their older daughter was in L’s 1st grade class).  We left the kids at their house with one of our friends’ mothers and we went out to dinner and bowling.  We had SUCH a blast!  It had been a while since we went out with another couple so it was nice to get out without the kids.  The kids behaved and passed out their house so I would say the night was a success.  We’ve already made plans for a get together for St. Patrick’s Day!

Hopefully, once the job calms down, I’ll have more time to write!  I promise not to disappear!

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Positive Changes

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One of the nice things about having extra income is the ability to be a bit pickier about the food we buy and eat.  Being on a strict budget can make eating well, not to mention healthy, hard.  I was so glad to be able to go to Costco and our local meat market recently to stock up on things like chicken breasts, steaks and pork tenderloin.  We have an extra freezer in our garage so that helps our ability to buy in bulk.  I would say that we have enough meat to last us more than a month.

But it goes beyond being able to afford to buy meat in bulk.  Over the last couple of years, I have started to think more about what we eat and search for other options and found great ones at social media where I started to participate with my own video by using SocialBoosting to get more views and start growing my account.  Living in a place where we have access to farmers markets all year round has made me more conscious of the things we eat.  I have started to read labels more and I have moved farther and farther away from processed foods.  I want my kids to reach for fruits and veggies as snacks rather than cookies and chips.

I had an interesting conversation at work today.  I work with a couple of Haitian women.  One was born and raised here but her husband and her parents are from Haiti and she still has many relatives there. The other was born in Haiti and has been in the States for several years.  They were talking about how Haiti is the poorest island in the West Indies and how people from there (and probably other countries as well) views us here in the States.  They make the best with what they have.  They rely native foods and natural resources.  They don’t waste and they make ALL their own food.  They see they way we eat and waste here in the States and frankly, they’re appalled.  And honestly, I don’t blame them.  They see us fill our plates with food, some of it junk and throw away half of it.  They see us buy things with ingredients not found in nature and they see us overeat all of it.  As one of them put it, they see us as arrogant and she’s right.  These are all things I have started to think about more recently and I have been working to change.

I think over the next couple of weeks, I am going to do a purge of my pantry and cabinets.  I am going to use up all the unnecessary condiments, etc. and start making my own.  Now, I may not go as far as to make my own ketchup and mustard but things like salad dressing and even taco sauce and seasoning, I know I can make myself.  I actually like making my own salad dressings and I already make my own BBQ sauce.  I’m going to go back to making my own pasta and tomato sauce.  That always tastes better to me anyway.  I’m going to try to set up a schedule where I put time aside each weekend to do these things.  I will now what goes into these food and I’ll be able to pronounce all the ingredients.

Starting this weekend, we also plan to get back into the habit of going to the farmers market weekly.  We’ll get up and hit the market on Saturday morning and then we’ll go to the grocery store and plan our meals around what we picked up at the market.  I am also going to be more conscious of where the food I buy comes from and try to buy local as much as possible.  I am going to stop buying as many chips and things like that and keep fruits on hand and veggies cut up for the girls to snack on and I’ll try my hand at making homemade ranch dressing for them to dip them in.

I know that once I make these changes not only will I feel better PHYSICALLY, I’ll feel better emotionally knowing that I am making good choices not only for my family, but for the local economy as well as the planet.  I encourage others to follow the same path.  After all, change starts with just one person. I also bought a kayak so i can go on the lake.

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New Year, Big Changes

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I know it’s been a little while since I posted.  The past few weeks have been BUSY!  First I had to get ready to start my new job and then once I started my new job, I had to get back into the swing of working.  I’m starting my 4th week and so far so good!  It’s been mostly training but I needed to brush up on stuff plus, I needed to learn their ways and how to use their systems.  I like my team and I think this will work out nicely.  On the 25th, I’ll actually start doing my job and I have a feeling it will be busy which is what I have always liked about this particular position…there’s never a dull moment.  I know I will never get bored!

It has been an adjustment for everyone though.  I seem to be doing OK with getting up and getting ready to go in a decent amount of time (until today…no clue what happened there).  I haven’t started the actual schedule I was hired for yet but I have still been going in late enough to take L to school.  Literally my second week of work, both girls ended up with stomach bugs so that put a cramp in things.  But B has been great about getting dinner stuff ready so I can just throw it on the grill or whatever when I get home.  We had already gotten used to eating later since we moved here so even my working later shouldn’t affect things too much.  We’ve been making meal plans and sticking to them and that definitely helps.  It’s been much smoother than I thought it would be.

I think the person this has been hardest on is Buggy.  She was used to having me there when she got home from school, etc. so one night at bedtime we put up her bed rails for toddlers, then I told her I missed her during the day, she said, “I miss you too, Mommy.  When can you stop working?”  My heart just about broke but I explained that I wasn’t going to stop and that next year she’ll be in school full time and she won’t notice as much.  I explained that with Mommy working, we’d be able to do a lot more fun stuff and she seemed to understand.  I had thought I had been handling it pretty well but last week it hit me too.  My manager told us we might have to stay late last Friday and that combined with PMS and the things Buggy had said led me to pretty much burst into (controlled) tears.  In the end, we didn’t have to stay late and I realized that it was all just a delayed reaction to going back to work after being home for four years.

The addition to our finances has definitely been nice!  I managed to get our taxes done early so we got our refund in no time.  I got my first paycheck on Friday and I had actually budgeted to close to the right amount…I was off by about $30 and it was MORE than I though so that was nice!  We spent a night at Disney and it was nice to not have to nickel and dime everything although we were careful not to go crazy (everything there is so darn overpriced!).  Our goal is to still follow a budget but it won’t nearly be as strict which is nice.  And now we’ll be starting on our household projects list which we are BOTH excited about.  Once thing we have always been responsible about is our finances so I don’t plan on letting that change. To feel better you can look at this website and check out the products.

I know I am still getting used to being back at work and I promise that once I get into a normal groove, I will be sure to make time for blogging (on ALL my blogs).  I just hope my life doesn’t get too boring and my writing dries up!

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A Sad End to 2012 And A Year of Change Coming in 2013

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I have to say that for a while, 2012 seemed to be a decent year given what we had been through the last few years.  Our finances were a bit better.  Buggy started pre-K and that was a change but a good one.  We kind of cruised along until October.  On the 20th we participated in our second Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk in support of my friend and L’s former teacher, Robyn.  We got to the meeting area just as her brother was telling everyone that Robyn was in rough shape and unable to attend the walk.  My heart sunk and I just had a bad feeling.  I had seen her at the pre-K school a few weeks before and she had looked good.  I had IM’d with her a couple days before the walk about an extra team T-shirt we had and she seemed in good spirits but then again, she always was.  Little did I know she was deteriorating.  B and I celebrated our 11th anniversary that night but my mind kept going to Robyn.

Not long after the walk, her CaringBridge site was updated to say that she had recently been hospitalized to remove fluid around her lungs.  She was released shortly before Halloween and I saw her at the pre-K Halloween parade.  It was then I learned how severe things were.  She looked good, considering, and was her usual funny self.  But she told me without really saying it that she was preparing for the end.  She was due to start a new kind of chemo soon and she told me if that didn’t work, that was the end of treatment for her.  In turns out, she never even got to start it.

A few days after Halloween, she was hospitalized again with fluid buildup.  Over the course of that stay, it was decided that treatment would stop.  She moved to her parents’ home one town away, where she had been staying during most of her treatments, and hospice was called although she wasn’t yet in critical need of it yet.  I let L know the newest developments although I don’t think she grasped the severity of it.  I hoped Robyn would hang on for one last holiday season with her family…that they would at least have that.

In the end, she did have one more holiday.  She was able to celebrate Thanksgiving with family and friends.  That following Monday, her CaringBridge update let us all know that comfort measures had been started.  Her battle was ending and her journey home had begun.  I couldn’t stop crying.  I didn’t tell L about the latest news.  I had no idea how long she would hang on so I thought it better to just tell her when it happened.

The next evening, November 27 at 8:40 pm., beautiful Robyn’s courageous battle ended with her loving family by her side.  My heart was broken for her, her family and my poor L.  She was already in bed so I waited until the next morning to tell her. It turned out she already had a feeling it had happened.  A classmate (who had also been in Robyn;s class with L) had told her the day before that her mom had let her know that Robyn’s family thought she only had 24 hours left.  I prepared L for a somber day at school.  When I dropped her off, you could tell the teachers were fighting back tears.  L and I both wore out Team Knockout shirts from the walk in her honor and I saw many teachers had done the same.

Dropping Buggy off was even worse.  The Director of the school and I hugged and the tone of the school was sad, to say the least.  The following day, I saw Robyn’s daughter in the sick room and once I got to Buggy’s room, I asked her teachers if anyone knew how she was doing.  She was having a rough time which was to be expected so I made sure to poke in and say hi to her as I left.  I left the building in tears.

The Saturday after she passed, L and I attended the celebration of her life.  It was there that the reality of it hit poor L and during a beautiful guitar accompanied version of “God Gave Me You,” she broke down which naturally made me lose it.  But it was a beautiful celebration of her life.  There were funny little stories and reminders of how hard she fought and how she never lost her sense of humor.  When her husband went up, there wasn’t dry eye in the house.  Same thing when her brother got up.  But the amount of people there was a true testament to the kind of person she was and how much she was loved.  It was a dreary day and someone posted on Robyn’s Facebook page that it was because God was crying too because he had to take her home.  Even to my agnostic self, it seemed like a proper response.  But after the service, several people saw rainbows and I knew she was OK and in no more pain.  That was what mattered most.

In the time since she passed away, Robyn has made her presence known.  Twice while I was out to eat, I heard “God Gave Me You” and I knew it was her letting me know she was nearby.  I had NEVER heard the song before her service so to hear it twice in a couple weeks, I just knew it had to be her.  The second time it happened, Linnaea was with me and I told her Robyn was checking on her.  But I think Robyn did something even bigger for me.  The day after she passed, after weeks of no job leads, I got a call for an interview from a company I had come close to working for a few years ago.  It was a position I had a lot of experience in and the office was VERY close by.  I couldn’t help but think that given the timing, Robyn was already working her angel magic.  Last Thursday, I was offered the job and I feel that I have her to thank.

Before 2012 ended, life felt it had to deal one last blow.  On Christmas Eve day, Band Back Together lost one of their own.  Beautiful, kind and funny Misty was someone I had bonded with over the love of food and beer.  Her loss was sudden and unexpected and it shook us to our core.  She was one of the nicest people I have ever known and she is missed terribly.

So despite the sad ending to 2012, 2013 has started off on a happy note and I like to think things can only get better from here.  I start my job on the 21st and I am really excited.  We will have more financial freedom and the ability to go out a bit more and maybe take a couple mini vacations.  The kids are doing well in school and I am sure that will continue.  I am looking forward to the changes ahead.  Right now, life is good.  And when it’s not, I remind myself of what Robyn used to say, “It’s OK to have your bad days BUT you HAVE to get back UP…it’ll get BETTER.”  Wise words indeed.  I miss you, Robyn.

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Fighting For Equal Rights

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I try to stay away from posting anything political on here but something happened yesterday that has prompted me to write about gay rights and doing your homewok before voting.

I was raised to accept everyone.  My parents opened their home to all of our friends regardless of race, ethnicity, etc.  I’ll admit, I didn’t really know any gay people growing up or at least, not anyone I KNEW was gay.  Obviously, this is not the case anymore and honestly, it’s not even something I think about.  My friends are my friends regardless of their sexual orientation…it just doesn’t MATTER to me.  I will never be able to fathom why ANYONE would think a gay couple should have different rights that a heterosexual one.  It just boggles my mind.

Yesterday, a friend posted this video on Facebook (And can I say that I LOVE this guy!).  After she posted it, a friend of hers pretty much said he didn’t understand the point of adding gays to the list of minorities that cannot be discriminated against because “everyone is protected from discrimination already, why is adding more words to specify another group necessary?”  The fact that he even had to ask that question kind of scared me.  So he and I went back and forth a bit about it and we were both polite about it.  My friend let me know privately that this guy is a strict Republican which I had already pretty much figured out.  My friend jumped in a bit too even though she said she knew better and then the conversation took a turn toward gay marriage.  This guy actually asked what rights gay couples don’t have that married, heterosexual couples do.  I…WAS….SPEECHLESS.  And so was my friend who said her head pretty much exploded at that point.  So, we enlisted the help of a mutual friend who is a lesbian.  We knew if anyone could put this guy in his place, she could.  And she did.  She gave him just SOME of the rights she and her partner do not have because they are gay.  Not to be outdone, the assclown asked her what SHE was doing to change any of this.  Again, I kind of had to hold back myself..  Nothing bugs me more than people who assume that someone is all talk and no action.  And he couldn’t be more wrong about my friend…she is PASSIONATE about gay rights and she isn’t the type to just sit by and wait for things to happen…she’s a DOER.  So, she let him know exactly what she has been doing in her fight for equal rights and I can guarantee it’s more than this guy is doing for anything he believes in.  I could hear several people applauding her at their computers and so far, that has been the end of the conversation but I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes back.

But, this whole thing makes me wonder about some people in our country.  As my lesbian friend pointed out, if HE had to ask what rights gay couples don’t have, that means there are A LOT more people out there who also don’t know and that’s scary.  These are the people who are voting and if they don’t know what rights a certain group DON’T have, how can they make an informed decision?  And what is even scarier is that many of these people don’t care to LEARN.  They listen to their candidate and just blindly follow without researching whether or not what said candidate wants is fair or even makes sense.

So PLEASE, if you plan to vote, do your homework.  Don’t be a blind follower.  Look into your candidate’s position on things, check any of the numerous, unbiased fact checking sites and make an INFORMED decision.  Our future and the future of our children depends on it.

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Remembering Lost Angels

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Today is National Pregnancy And Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  Honestly, I’m surprised that this is the first time I have done a post about it.  Given my history, you would have thought I’d be all over it before now.  But, better late than never, I guess.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss remains a taboo subject although I do think pregnancy loss is even more so.  It’s just not something many people talk about or understand.  When I talked about my losses, I was AMAZED at the number of people I knew who had suffered them as well,  I already knew several of my online friends had but that circle grew to include many others including several real life friends, a former neighbor and my aunt who had also delivered a stillborn son and then lost his surviving twin 13 years later.  It is a large club and I wish more people felt comfortable acknowledging that they are a part of it.

I was lucky at the time of my first loss.  I belonged to an online community of moms and many of them had suffered miscarriages.  I had a place I could feel comfortable taking about it but I remember thinking that I didn’t feel very comfortable talking about it in real life.  And even after four losses, that really hasn’t changed. So many people seem to think our babies lost before they were born don’t matter as much as ones lost after they are born and that hurts.They were still our babies even if we never met them.  We still feel the loss.  I get that people don’t always know what to say or do but a simple “I’m sorry” is often enough.  But if you feel THAT isn’t enough, you can find guidance here at Band Back Together.  It also gives a good list of what NOT to say to someone who has had a miscarriage.  I wish people I know had read it before I had my losses.  It would have saved me a lot of pain.

The taboo surrounding these losses is why I do what I do at Band Back Together and Surviving River.  I know many people aren’t as lucky as I was to have people who understood.  I want people who have been through what I have to be able to have a place to talk about it…a place where people understand and know what to say.  A place where people will not be insensitive or judge.  And most of all, I want the taboo REMOVED.  I want people to be able to speak freely about their lost babies without fear of making anyone uncomfortable.  So PLEASE, if you have suffered a miscarriage or infant loss, TALK about it.  And if you are close to someone who has suffered one of these losses, LET them talk about it and LISTEN.  The more people do these things, the less taboo it will become.

Please join me today in remembering all the babies lost too soon.  If you ar ethe parent of one, please feel free to share your angel on Band Back Together’s Wall of Remembrance.  And everyone, please light a candle at 7 p.m. where ever you are in remembrance of these lost angels and in support of their parents who will forever have a hole in their hearts and their lives.

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On Second Thought….

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If you read my post here, you know that I said that while I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do when I returned to work, I did know that I didn’t want to go back to doing what I USED to do.  And if you read my post here, you know that I amended that to say that I might be willing to go back to what I used to do but on the consulting side.  Well, I’ve since amended that again.  I have now decided that there really isn’t a reason not to go back to what I used to do.  The money is good, I know how to do it so there’s no real training necessary and, well, I did enjoy my job….eventually despite the occasional crazy person who was pissed about their money getting cut off.

Connecticut is the Insurance capital of the US, so it’s not unusual that I ended up working in the industry.  I’ve worked in several different types of insurance…long term care, health and disability.  But it took until my last job, my FOURTH insurance job, for me to begin to enjoy it.  Long term care claims were a bit boring and working in underwriting for a health insurance company got a bit boring as well.  Handling disability claims was DEFINITELY the most interesting.  The first company I did them for was a small company whose ethics never really sat right with me.  I eventually got laid off, not long before the company went under completely (I made out better than the people who stuck it out to the end).  After that, I was hired at a major insurance company.  Imagine my surprise when I bypassed training and was taken to a locked unit on the 5th floor on my first day.  It turned out, I was chosen to handle claims for the company’s OWN employees, hence being locked away (it may seem a bit extreme but in the 3 years I worked there, I was threatened more than once). This development made me even more eager to start.

It was in this job that I excelled.  I loved my team, I liked the hands on training (though my mentor was a cocky asshole which later got him fired) and I liked the variety of things I was doing.  I was recognized after only a year for smoothing over the many feathers my mentor had ruffled.  The recognition came in the form of a handsome bonus which came directly from the head of the office.  I was given the opportunity to work from home after less than a year and worked up to working from home four days a week.  I had my second daughter and went back to the same team when I returned to work.  I continued to be recognized for my hard work and I became a mentor for new trainees.  I think it was the first time I could ever REALLY say I enjoyed my job and looked forward to going to work everyday.  If the boss I had when we moved hadn’t been such a jerk, I would have taken the job with me and worked remotely from here.  That’s how much I liked it.

So now, after MUCH thought, I have thrown my hat back into the same ring.  B’s company has a claims office locally and he submitted my resume.  I received a call from HR almost immediately and I took the pre-employment assessment and set up a profile on the company’s web site.  I will be speaking to the HR representative later today to see what the next steps may be.  Even if I don’t get the job this time, jobs open up pretty regularly so hopefully, something will come up soon.  In the meantime, any good thoughts, prayers and good juju that you could send my way would be greatly appreciated.

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