Monthly Archives: June 2011


When Adults’ Rudeness Hurts My Child


This coming Saturday, my daughter L was supposed to have a birthday party.  I say SUPPOSED TO because thanks to not ONE of her classmates’ parents RSVP’ing, we’re not having it.  Sorry, correction, one mother did RSVP a day late.  Better late than never, I guess but I had to call her back and tell her the party was canceled and why.  She felt awful and so did her daughter.  Trust me, they didn’t feel as awful as I did, not to mention my DAUGHTER.

My daughter has the bad luck of having a summer birthday.  She was due in the middle of June but since she was stubborn and decided she preferred it inside my uterus, she was born 12 days late at the END of the month which makes it even worse.

When we lived in CT, it was never an issue.  For several years we simply had a large party with just our families and neighbors.  Everyone always RSVP’d.  At her last birthday before we moved, she invited a couple of friends form her day care.  Again, the RSVP’s were not an issue.

When her first birthday here in Florida rolled around, we didn’t have a party for a couple of reasons.  The main reason was we only knew one other family.  The other reason was my sister was getting married in NH right before her birthday so we had that to prepare and travel for.  We ended up celebrating with our one set of friends on the 4th of July.  Luckily, she was OK with that.

Fast forward to the following year.  Just as school ended, I sent in birthday invitations to be distributed to her class.  And we also handed out invitations to 3 neighboring families.  The neighbors were easy…we could always follow up with them when we saw them so I wasn’t worried about them.  And honestly, since I thought most people practiced common courtesy, I didn’t think the classmates would be an issue either.  Boy, was I wrong.  We got a few RSVP’s from her classmates right away, most of them no’s and then they stopped.  Now since her class had a decent room mother last year, I had several email addresses and I knew who they belonged to so I was able to send out a reminder as the RSVP date got closer.  But I was still nervous.  I prepared L for the possibility of not having a party.  I assured her that if it came to that, we would plan something equally as awesome for that day.  In response to my email, we got several more yes’s and a few more no’s.  The party was on but I was still a bit surprised at the lack of calling, no matter what the response was.  It went off with a hitch, but I dreaded having to do it all over again the following year.

This year I sent in/handed out the invitations even earlier.  And since L said she only wanted to invite the girls, that’s what we did.  Again, I didn’t worry about the neighbors (who are all girls) but from the second the invitations went into school, I had a pit in my stomach.  And for good reason.  The room mother this year wasn’t, ummm, as good as last year’s.  I had email addresses but no clue who belonged to which one so that didn’t help me since only the girls were invited.  Again, I prepared L for the possibility of not having a party.  As the RSVP date got closer, she seemed to get more upset which broke my heart.  One morning she said “Maybe the kids don’t think my party will be fun.”  I had to FIGHT not to cry.  Hubby, who has a summer birthday a week after L’s, talked to her about having the same problem growing up.  That seemed to help.  And I started suggesting things to do instead.  I told her I would take her for a pedicure and then maybe we could go miniature golfing or bowling.  She seemed to perk up at those ideas.

Lo and behold, the RSVP date came and went with not one call.  I had already let a couple of the neighbors know that the party probably wouldn’t be happening.  Then the next day, we got the one RSVP.  The mother sounded as angry as I was.  I told her it was probably a side effect of having a summer birthday but she replied with EXACTLY what I had been thinking, “But the parents…they should STILL call.”  It was comforting to hear it from someone else.  I invited her and her daughter to join us in whatever we decide to do and she said they would be delighted to.  That made my daughter’s day.  So did talking on the phone with her classmate.

I’ll admit I felt a little better but I am still angry.  Have some common courtesy.  This is a CHILD’S BIRTHDAY PARTY…a child with FEELINGS.  It’s one thing to act like a douche when it comes to an adult’s party but not RSVP’ing for a CHILD’S party???  Unforgivable.  And if someone DOES decide to show up, they’ll be met with an empty house and a sign on the door that says due to the lack of response, we assumed no one was coming.  I’m afraid if we stay home, I might slug someone.


Summer Break and Schedules


The last day of school here was June 1.  The next couple of days were spent preparing to leave for vacation and from the 4th to the 11th, we were on vacation.  That means this past Monday was really our first REAL day of summer break.  Over the course of this week the girls played school played out in front of our house with their bikes and scooters, read together, colored, swam in the pool, went to the splash park and watched movies together.  None of this was organized or scheduled and that’s just kind of how I roll and I am starting to wonder if I should change how I roll.

When my kids were both first born, I worked full time.  Our weekends were spent spending time together as a family.  We had a pool so we swam and cooked out during the summer.  The kids played in the yard and we occasionally went on little excursions.  But mostly we just enjoyed time together.  The girls got plenty of socialization at day care so I wasn’t really worried about that.  I didn’t worry about play dates or anything like that.  Frankly, we didn’t really have the time!

When we moved to FL, we decided I would stay home.  Both our rental house and the house we live in now have pools and are on safe, quiet streets.  The kids would swim or we’d go to the park.  They would play out in front of our house with their scooters and bikes.  We eventually got annual passes to Disney so we would do that when it wasn’t too hot.  Linnaea hasn’t shown much interst in any activities so we’ve waited on those.  Eventually we got to know out neighbors more and the kids started playing together but it was usually a spur of the moment type thing.  And despite Alexa spending most of her time with me, her socialization skills were just fine.

But more and more, I have started to wonder if I should change how I do things.  When I moved to FL, I had a friend from middle school who had lived here in town for years.  Now, I knew we had become different people but once I got here, I realized just how different.  She constantly had her kids on the go…play dates, excursions, you name it.  But at the same time, she was a slave to her kids poor sleeping habits which, frankly, were her own fault. She also developed ailments because of her kids’ habits, but she once told me that she bought this product off of the internet and she’d have temporary relief. I know, I know some kids have legitimate sleep issues but in this case, she created these monsters.  She is also a “helicopter parent.”  The combination of these things make me a little nuts.  Oh, and once the weather gets warm, she pretty much refuses to take her kids out to do any outdoor activities.  Heck, they have a pool they pretty much never use.  We’re in ours all the time and our kids still play outside and go to the park even in the summer.  I could go on and on but I’ll stop here.  So, needless to say we’ve drifted apart and I have found friends whose parenting and social interests are a little more like mine.

But now that summer is here again and I know more people, even other moms I know seem to have a schedule of what they plan to do every week.  And by schedule I mean they say “Well on Monday we’re going to go to the splash park and on Tuesday we’ll do this and on Wednesday we’ll do that.”  Maybe I’m the weird one?  I mean, I plan to do all those things at some point during the week but for most of them, I’m not going to pin myself down to a day.  Is that strange?  Should I be more regimented?  Am I hurting my kids?  I’m starting to second guess myself and I don’t like it.
inquired by affecting endocannabinoid framework called the World Health Organization sadness are positioned 6th (9)

The scientists found in contrast to decrease indications identified with eleviating pain

These characteristics are promising human examinations have malignancy and Depression

Studies have found in mice)

Another study found in 177 individuals with various reactions including languor tumult a sheltered and its mitigating activities and capacity to diminish nervousness during development torment very still and creates the individuals experiencing chemotherapy found in its capacity to CBD’s capacity to queasiness regurgitating and a sleek emission made by this common medical issues and weariness

In one Brazilian investigation did exclude any case the cerebrum’s receptors in its mitigating properties more than 100 molecule mixes known pure cbd oil cannabinoids found in individuals who live with disease