Monthly Archives: July 2011

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Domestic Diva I Am Not!

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I’m just going to come out and say it…I HATE housework.  I do it, of course but I drag my feet and stuff piles up and that makes me hate it even more.  It’s a vicious cycle.  But I am TRYING to get better about it…to stay on top of it more and still have time for other stuff.

When B and I first moved in together, cleaning was done on Saturday mornings.  We lived in an apartment so there wasn’t much to clean.  We did have 4 cats and plenty of carpet so there was a lot of vacuuming that needed to be done.  We moved to another apartment and that schedule continued.  In fact, it continued until we moved into our house and had kids.  By that time, we had traded a lot of the carpet for hardwood floors so it looked like we had a family of bunnies living in the house.  And of course, with kids, things got messier,  We soon found that since we both worked, we spent most of at least one day on the weekend cleaning and not spending it with our kids. Don’t get me wrong…we didn’t let the place turn into a pigsty during the week.  We picked up the clutter and did quick wipe downs.  But our deep cleaning came on the weekend and it SERIOUSLY cut into our family time.  So, for a little while, we had a girl come once a week to clean.  Then she started to come once every  weeks.  And then we needed the money for other things so she had to go and we were back to spending a weekend day cleaning.

When we moved to FL and decided I would stay home, I had visions of having certain chores done on certain days and B coming home to a spotless house.  Ummm, yeah…with 2 kids home with me during the say and one of them just over a year old, that didn’t exactly happen, for one reason or another.  But, now the kids are older and they can pitch in a bit so I am again trying to work our some kind of schedule.

I Googled “house chores schedule” and found a ton of resources.  Ummm, OK, as I’m typing this, I realize how silly it must sound but, I’m not sure how else to approach it.  I think what I will have to do is work on assigning chores to each day and see how it goes…unless anyone else has other suggestions!  At this point I’m pen to anything!

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Summer Is Flying By!!!

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I can’t believe that it’s almost the middle of July already!  We really enjoyed our beach vacation.  To see this every night was just heaven:

Hubby got some stuff done with the house.  The house is now painted but awaiting a second coat.  He also painted the pool deck though he has a couple more things to finish up there too.  WE have tons of landscaping to take care of but that’s coming along slowly too.

My IL’s were here for a week and that was a nice visit.  They were here for L’s actual birthday.  We took her out to dinner and then the night before they left, we all went to the Spirit of Aloha Luau at the Polynesian resort in Disney World.  Man, I LOVE that dinner show!  L loved her new TV/DVD combo from all her grandparents as well as all her gifts from us.  I can’t believe my first baby is 7!

Hubby started a new job on Monday.  Well, technically it started on July 1 but he was off work to visit with his parents and then as soon as his parents left, he had to go to Minneapolis to meet his new boss and go over some things.  So, yesterday was the first day he was actually at work in the new job.  The good news is he’ll be able to work from home most of the time.  He hopes to start that later this week.

My mom arrives next week for a few days and then the first weekend in August we’re going to Disney for a couple nights.  And then before we know it, school will be starting again!  The kids have been having a blast between the pool, the splash park and the free bowling.  But I feel like it just went too fast.  I love having both kids home and I’ll be bummed when school starts again.

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Cancer Is Bullshit

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July 1st marked the 30th birthday of my husband’s cousin, Adam.  Adam’s wife, Kate, planned a party at their house to celebrate his birthday as well as the 4th of July.  My hubby, B, and I really wished we could be there.  But this party was different than most.  The guest of honor for this party was not there although I am positive he was there in spirit.  Cancer took Adam from those who loved him, including a son he would never meet, on March 27.

Adam was the son of my MIL’s cousin.  So he and B weren’t even first cousins.  But they were almost as close as brothers.  B, Adam and his brother Dave spent a lot of time together as kids.  There is quite a large gap in age between B and his brothers and that gap was filled by Adam and Dave.  The families even traveled together.  When I met Adam, I instantly liked him.  Adam was smart, artistic and VERY funny.  I can’t think of one time that I was with him where I didn’t laugh for at least 5 minutes at something he said.  He did a dead on impression of Old Man Herbert from “Family Guy” and that character will always remind me of him.

When Adam met Kate, I liked her instantly too.  She was like me…sarcastic and quick to joke.  She and Adam seemed a perfect fit.  Adam was diganosed with cancer not long after they met 4 or 5 years ago (I could be a bit off there).  Lots of women would have run in the other direction but not Kate.  She was there with him every step of the way.

When Adam was diagnosed, he had a tumor removed and then underwent almost a year of chemo.  After that he was given a clean bill of health.  But that was short lived.  The cancer came back and this time, it was here to stay.

The last time I saw Adam was June 30, 2009.  He and Kate took a trip to Disney World.  My daughter L’s 5th brithday fell in the middle of their trip so we took advantage of the Free Birthday promotion and took the kids on the first visit to Magic Kingdom.  We had a great time even though it rained.  We rode the rides and watched the parades and just had a wonderful day.  Adam looked great and in a way, I am grateful that I am able to remember him that way.  Here is a picture of Adam and Kate taken that day:

Kate and Adam returned to CT but we continued to keep in touch through Facebook.  Adam had his ups and downs but at that point, the good days seemd to outnumber the bad.  On Christmas Eve day of that same year, I got a text from Kate telling me that she and Adam had gotten engaged.  We were beyond thrilled for them and we felt honored to be the first of the extended family to know.  They started planning the wedding and settled on April 2010.  Kate called me to let me know the date just in case we could make it but it just wasn’t possible.  I heard it was a beautiful, fun wedding even though it was bittesweet.  Beyond the happiness, we all knew that Adam was on borrowed time.
But Adam continued to rally.  He and Kate were able to take a honeymoon to Aruba.  That fall, they announced they were expecting a baby the following May.  Adam was BEYOND excited to be a father.  He and Kate found out they were having a boy and life seemed good.  But soon, the bad days began to outnumber the good.
When my IL’s were visiting us that March, they let us know that things were not going well.  Adam was unable to receive some of his treatments due to his inability to breathe when he was lying flat on his back (the tumors were in his lungs and there was fluid build-up).  Later in the month, we learned that he had been admitted to the hospital.  I caught up with Kate on Facebook and she said he was doing better and they were going to try to wean him off the ventilator and that she hoped he would be home by that weekend or shortly after.  That very weekend, my BIL, Jeff, called.  My heart sank when I saw the Caller ID.  Jeff RARELY calls and I knew it was about Adam.
Jeff told me that Dave had called my MIL and told her things were not good and that Adam’s time would likely come soon.  As usual, Dave was vague.  With the exception of Kate, Adam’s immediate family had been in denial throughout his whole illness so this was typical.  I went and told B the news and then I sent Kate a text to tell her I was thinking of her.  She responded with her thanks.
Not too long after that, I received another text from Kate.  She told me they would be taking Adam off life support soon. She apologized for telling me that way but she knew Adam’s parents probably weren’t keeping people informed.  When I called my MIL to let her know, I found out Kate was right.  They were pretty much in the dark.  I told them I would keep them updated.
A few hours later I received the worst text I have ever received.  Kate told me that Adam was gone.  He passed away with her by his side.  Adam’s long battle was over.  I went and told B and I could tell he was in a bit of shock.  Then I made the difficult call to my IL’s since I had a feeling they didn’t know yet and I was right.  See, my IL’s had a very special relationship with Adam and Kate.  Kate and Adam had bought a hosue in Kate’s hometown which is also B’s hometowm so my IL’s lived close by.  They visited with them often and often went out ot dinner or to the casino together.  I knew this was going to be VERY hard on them.  I hated making that call.
Next, I had to tell L.  We had lost one of our cats to cancer so she knew what it was but this was the first time she lost someone that close to her.  It was heartbrreaking to watch her eyes fill with tears.  She went and found a Tinkerbell keychain that Adam and Kate has bought her for her birthday on that Disney trip and I told her she could keep it to always remember Adam by.  She still has that keychain by her bed.
That night, B broke down as we were reminiscing about Adam and I joined him.  It just wasn’t fair.  Adam was so young.  He didn’t live to see his first anniversary or his son being born.  But I knew one thing for sure…Adam KNEW Kate was strong enough to handle it.  I know in my heart of hearts that he would not have let go if he thought she couldn’t handle it.  She had been his rock.  She stood by him, married him and carried his child all the while knowing what could happen.  Not many women can do that.  And I admire her greatly for it.
Adam’s son, Luke, was born on Mother’s Day, exactly a week before his due date.  I am sure Adam had a hand in that…his last gift to his wife…the perfect Mother’s Day present.  And Luke is the spitting image of his dad.  Adam will live on through his son but there will always be a hole in our lives left by him.  Even so, all of us whose lives were touched by him were blessed.
I had hoped that cancer would not hit this close to home for quite some time but that was not to be.  We recently found out that the teacher Linnaea had this past year has been diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer.  She’s my age.  Like Adam she has the right attitude and plans to fight.   But it still sucks.  We need to find a cure.  But until then, as Aunt Becky says, “Cancer is bullshit.”