Monthly Archives: July 2012

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My Heart Is With Aurora

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Yes, it seems I’m a bit later than most in posting about this subject.  But, when faced with an incident like this, I need time to process it and get my thoughts together.  If I don’t, my post would only be angry spewing and ranting and no one wants that!
When B came in on Friday morning to tell me there had been a shooting during the premiere for “The Dark Knight Rises,” I was half asleep.  It wasn’t until I grabbed my phone and began to check Facebook and Twitter that the magnitude of what happened hit me.
When you find out about something like this, you go through a whole range of emotions.  I was sad, then angry and then I asked what I am sure everyone else has asked, “WHY?”  I’m not sure we’ll ever have a clear reason why.  And I go back and forth between believing the shooter is mentally ill and believing he is an extremely intelligent individual who would just like us all to BELIEVE he is mentally ill.  Naturally, as soon as this happened, calls for tighter gun laws went out.  I am not here to get into a debate about that.  What I do want to point out is that hardly anyone ever points out that what really may be needed is better and more easily obtainable mental healthcare in this country.  It would also help to try to break down the stigmas associated with mental illness (something we at Band Back Together are working to do) so that people wouldn’t feel as ashamed about asking for or getting the help they need.  I will say that I am seeing more calls for better mental health care but still not enough.  Maybe if and when we decide to work on this issue, incidents like this one will become fewer and further between.
And just when the initial shock of this whole thing started to wear off, I learned something that made my blood boil.  I learned that a certain religious organization (who I will not give the satisfaction of naming) was threatening to “super picket” a prayer vigil for the Aurora victims.  They were tweeting things about God sending the shooter and thanking God for the shooter.  Immediately people put out a call for volunteers to make a human wall if they showed up.  These nutjobs responded that they would conquer any wall just as they had at a military funeral a few days earlier.  Only, when you looked into it, they didn’t conquer anything.  A small group of them showed up but they were unable to get past the wall of supporters so the slunk away like the snakes that they are.  And, thankfully, in the end, they didn’t show up in Aurora either.
I will never understand the hatred of a group like this.  I was raised Catholic but now consider myself agnostic.  I have no issue with religion as long as it’s not being shoved down my (or my children’s) throats.  Heck, I like a good theological discussion as much as the next person (and I had a good one with a friend just this past weekend).  But these people twist the Bible to back up their hateful beliefs and it gives GOOD Christians a bad name.  The last thing ANYONE needs after an incident like this one is hate being spread as people are trying to make sense and mourn.  And I am willing to bet a day will come when this group will REALLY piss someone off and the end result will NOT be pretty.
My heart and thoughts are with the people of Aurora, the victims and their families.  I wish them peace as they journey toward healing.  And I leave you with this picture by CarlyMarie.  I think it says it all.
http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/CarlyMarieDudley.jpg
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What The Future Holds

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I can’t believe it’s the middle of July already.  The summer is just flying by.  June was a whirlwind after school got out.  We had our beach vacation, Father’s Day, a trip to the Jacksonville area to visit friends and then an overnight trip to Disney for L’s birthday.  The next thing I knew, it was the 4th of July.  And now, I look at the calendar and realize school starts in less than a month.  Where did the time go?

On August 13, L will start 3rd grade and Buggy will start pre-K.  The next couple of weeks will be spent getting school supplies, clothes and shoes.  Buggy’s teacher has already called to introduce herself.  We’ll hear from L’s teacher closer to when school starts.  It’s hard to believe both my girls will be in school (even though Buggy will only be there for 3 hours).

I never thought I would have an opportunity to be a stay at home mom.  When we lived in CT, I had to work due to the high cost of living there.  I was only able to take 10 weeks of maternity leave after L was born.  I got pregnant with her pretty much the second we moved into our first house.  The house needed work so that was where a lot of our money went before she as born.  When I went back to work, I worked 4 days a week and my in-laws watched L one day a week so she only went to day care 3 days a week.  She didn’t attend full time until she was almost 18 months old.  I was glad to have that one day a week with her for that time but I still felt like I missed a lot.  So, when I had the opportunity to stay home for almost 6 months after Buggy was born, I took it (CT has VERY generous FMLA guidelines).  And I cherished that time with her.  I had no idea that 8 months later I would be leaving my job to move to Florida and I would finally have a chance to be a full time stay at home mom.

Once we moved to Florida, being home all the time took some getting used to.  It took me a while to get into a groove but I did do it.  I have to be honest, I wasn’t sure I was cut out to stay home.  I had always thought that I needed to work in some kind of capacity but I was wrong. I have loved being able to be home with my girls.  But all good things must come to an end and since they will both be in school this fall, it will also be time for me to re-enter the workforce.  The problem is, I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
I worked in insurance for over 10 year.  B still works in insurance and I could easily get a job with his company but the one thing I DO know is that I do not want to go back to that…if I can help it.  I also got spoiled at my last insurance job.  I was able to work from home 4 days a week.  But, as I’m sure many of you know, legitimate stay at home jobs are HARD to come by.  So, not only do I have to get back into the work force, but I will likely have to go back to going INTO work rather than just walking to my computer.  My dream would be to earn money for my writing or social media skills but, so far that hasn’t panned out although I haven’t given up completely.  I thought about being a Virtual Assistant but I’m not sure that would work out either. 
I want to find something I love.  I want to be excited to go to work everyday.  I want to be able to sleep at night without worrying about my job.  I don’t want to only complain when I talk about what I do for a living.  Am I setting the bar too high?  Maybe I am.  Maybe I have unrealistic expectations of what my career should be.  But for now, I’m looking and I’m keeping my options open.  You never know what the future may hold.