Categotry Archives: friendship

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A New Groove

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I know I am way overdue for a blog post and I apologize.  The new job has been busier than I anticipated!  Since the account I was assigned to is brand new, there was a lot of work that went into getting it ready.  I worked lots of overtime the week before last and even then we still went live a day late!  So, I went in early last week too so we could catch up and while it’s going slowly, we are getting there.  But, the good news is I have found my groove and it’s becoming a routine.  Everyone is still getting adjusted but we’ll all get there.  I think some schedules may be in order!

I can’t believe that we nearing the end of the school year.  We got notice of when Buggy’s pre-K graduation will be.  L will be getting ready to take the Florida standardized test called the F-CAT and I’m a bit worried.  One half of it is reading comprehension which she has struggled with so we need to work with her on it.  She said her teacher let her know that if she didn’t do well on the test, there was still another opportunity to prevent her from staying back but we have heard NOTHING from the teacher ourselves so I sent an email to her teacher  to find out exactly what we need to work on.  She reads a TON and honestly, I think some of it is just not knowing how to scan and look for the answers within the stories so I’ll start there.  And then once I hear back from her teacher, I’ll have a better idea of what else we may need to work on.

With the approach of the end of  school year comes the time for registering Buggy for Kindergarten.  But our county is redistricting so I am pretty sure my kids will be going to another school next year.  This upsets me a bit because we love the school L is in now.  She has lots of friends there and I love a lot of the teachers.  All the kids from our neighborhood would be going to the same new school but still, it breaks my heart that she may have to start over at a new school in 4th grade.  It’s not as big of a deal for Buggy since she’ll be starting from scratch but it’s still a bit upsetting.  And I can’t believe my last baby will be starting school full time!  She loves school and I know she’ll do fine but it’s still so bittersweet.

Spring Break is just around the corner and I am so sad I won’t be able to be home for any of it.  B’s parents will be coming to visit so I know the kids will love their time with Grandma and Grandpa but I’d still like to be able to take some time off.  I just keep telling myself that I’ll have a week off in June to go to the beach so I’m trying to look forward to that.

We’re also looking into what to do with the kids this summer since we’ll both be working.  Buggy’s school had a summer long camp so we may just send them there. There’s also a science/environmental camp through the county that Linnaea wants to go to so maybe she can do that for a week.  No matter what they do I’m sure they’ll have fun!

Last night B and I went out on a double date with some friends who have kids the same age as ours (their older daughter was in L’s 1st grade class).  We left the kids at their house with one of our friends’ mothers and we went out to dinner and bowling.  We had SUCH a blast!  It had been a while since we went out with another couple so it was nice to get out without the kids.  The kids behaved and passed out their house so I would say the night was a success.  We’ve already made plans for a get together for St. Patrick’s Day!

Hopefully, once the job calms down, I’ll have more time to write!  I promise not to disappear!

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Where Old Friendships Go To Die

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When we first moved to FL, we picked the area we did because we were familiar with it (well that and the fact that this county has a great school system).  We were familiar with it because I had a friend who had lived in this area since high school.  I won’t get into the boring details of our friendship other than to say we met in 7th grade back in CT…right before she moved to Cape Cod and then a year or so later, she moved here to FL.  We kept in touch as pen pals and visited each other when we could over the years.  I flew down when she got married and she was a bridesmaid in our wedding.  It was at around that time that I noticed she had changed a bit.  Or maybe, we had both changed.
Over the next few years we continued to keep in touch although we did have period of not speaking.  She was very helpful as we prepared to move here.  She was also the one who took me to the hospital when I lost our last angel baby and stayed with me until all the intake stuff was over.  But it became clear that we had different personalities, ways of parenting…the list could go on and on.  I had thought we’d see each other often once we moved here but that wasn’t the case.  I don’t think it was anyone’s fault.  We both had lives and once we moved into the house we live in now, we got to know our neighbors and we made other friends along the way who were more like us.  And of course she had friends as well.  Our kids were slightly different ages too so that probably played into it as well.

As of right now, I would say it has been close to a year since I have seen her.  She emails occasionally and I reply but I would say that happens once every couple of months.  My mom doesn’t seem to understand it.  I think she thinks that because I have known her so long, that we should just continue to TRY to keep the friendship going.  But is it worth it when you have become such different people?  How much effort should we be required to put into keeping a friendship going?

I had wondered how to handle the whole thing.  Do I just distance myself?  Not reply to emails or calls?  Actually talk to her about the situation?  In the end, it seems this friendship is dying a natural death and none of those things are necessary.  I have no hard feelings toward her…she is a wonderful person.  It’s not like there was a fight that led to this.  We became different people who no longer mesh.

Am I the only one who finds this happening as we get older?  Facebook has led to many people reconnecting after years of little or no contact but I wonder if issues like this are coming to light more often because of this.   That wasn’t the case here but I am curious to know if Facebook has resulted in others having this issue.  It’s always sad when a friendship ends and it may be even more sad when there isn’t one particular incident that leads to it…no fight or harsh words that make it easy to walk away.  But regardless of how it ends, it’s like a chapter of your life has closed and all you have are the memories and hopefully, there are more good memories than bad.