When we first moved to FL, we picked the area we did because we were familiar with it (well that and the fact that this county has a great school system).  We were familiar with it because I had a friend who had lived in this area since high school.  I won’t get into the boring details of our friendship other than to say we met in 7th grade back in CT…right before she moved to Cape Cod and then a year or so later, she moved here to FL.  We kept in touch as pen pals and visited each other when we could over the years.  I flew down when she got married and she was a bridesmaid in our wedding.  It was at around that time that I noticed she had changed a bit.  Or maybe, we had both changed.
Over the next few years we continued to keep in touch although we did have period of not speaking.  She was very helpful as we prepared to move here.  She was also the one who took me to the hospital when I lost our last angel baby and stayed with me until all the intake stuff was over.  But it became clear that we had different personalities, ways of parenting…the list could go on and on.  I had thought we’d see each other often once we moved here but that wasn’t the case.  I don’t think it was anyone’s fault.  We both had lives and once we moved into the house we live in now, we got to know our neighbors and we made other friends along the way who were more like us.  And of course she had friends as well.  Our kids were slightly different ages too so that probably played into it as well.

As of right now, I would say it has been close to a year since I have seen her.  She emails occasionally and I reply but I would say that happens once every couple of months.  My mom doesn’t seem to understand it.  I think she thinks that because I have known her so long, that we should just continue to TRY to keep the friendship going.  But is it worth it when you have become such different people?  How much effort should we be required to put into keeping a friendship going?

I had wondered how to handle the whole thing.  Do I just distance myself?  Not reply to emails or calls?  Actually talk to her about the situation?  In the end, it seems this friendship is dying a natural death and none of those things are necessary.  I have no hard feelings toward her…she is a wonderful person.  It’s not like there was a fight that led to this.  We became different people who no longer mesh.

Am I the only one who finds this happening as we get older?  Facebook has led to many people reconnecting after years of little or no contact but I wonder if issues like this are coming to light more often because of this.   That wasn’t the case here but I am curious to know if Facebook has resulted in others having this issue.  It’s always sad when a friendship ends and it may be even more sad when there isn’t one particular incident that leads to it…no fight or harsh words that make it easy to walk away.  But regardless of how it ends, it’s like a chapter of your life has closed and all you have are the memories and hopefully, there are more good memories than bad.